People do shit! We kiss those who don\’t want to (or those who insist a lot – we\’re human, aren\’t we), we have sex with those who don\’t want to, in reality, because, deep down, who we want doesn\’t even know how we feel. Often times, they don\’t even call. We wait. Expect a text message saying he wants to see you. We expect a response to that message you sent wanting to see him. We hope that the guy, your prince, the one you chose, corresponds to you, or at least responds to you.
But it doesn\’t work like that. Sometimes he doesn\’t respond to you, or sometimes, he does, but not in the way you expect. Because we wait, always! And even though you want to seem aware, or are you really aware, after a thousand years of therapy, like this Cinderella here, if you didn\’t cry about your unrequited loves, if you didn\’t feel that feeling of rejection, frustration, back there, you you didn\’t experience that love, that pain, painful, but extremely necessary to learn to deal with the next frustrations that will come (because yes, they will come, it\’s part of the wonderful journey of life) you will remain insecure of yourself, believing, in the deep down, that every relationship is a game. And you will try to play, dressed in all the armor you learned from what you believed to be the tough game of emotions.
But that won\’t make you not frustrated. Do you know why? Because we expect too much. Expect him to be Prince Charming, or that he\’s Shrek himself, with flaws, but with valuable qualities. But worst of all, what hurts the most: when you know him, or you believe you know him; you know his weaknesses, his insecurities, his limitations and all the barriers he set up so that you or no other could enter his castle and yet you, with all your love, or your most selfish desire to be the one that saves the guy from himself, from his isolation from living a great love, or life to the full, waiting for him, for his change, or for recognition, or for going back to being the guy he once was was for you, or that never was, but that you believe has the potential to be.
It hurts. Our expectation hurts a lot. No matter how much you love yourself, this pain is not about your self-esteem, it needs to be felt or you won\’t know how to deal with it when frustrations or disappointments knock on your door!
So, gather your girlfriends, friends, mother or sister and cry, babe! Tear down your own strongholds before you want him or anyone else to break down his. Really cry. Admit your own weaknesses before wanting to take care of the weaknesses of those who are not aware of them. Remember that you want to be the prince\’s sweetheart, lover, and friend, not his mother.
Put a good track in the purest cesspool style \”Bridget Jones\’s Diary\” and feel it! Be allowed! I guarantee, it won\’t hurt as much as you imagined. You are going to survive.
Strength, Cinderella! You don\’t really need an uncomfortable glass slipper to be the woman you imagine someone wants you to be. In my case, a good trail shoe does the job. Try on some other shoes, feel where they really squeeze you and then figure out which one is really yours!