Every year, for more than a century, International Women\’s Day has been celebrated. But just as the world took a while to recognize its importance (in some parts this date is still unknown, by the way), so did I.
I don\’t know if it\’s because I was born and lived my whole life in a macho culture like the Brazilian one, where women are congratulated, given flowers and chocolates on March 8th, but still receive lower wages than men, are beaten by their partners and they suffer prejudice from, amazingly, other women for no longer wanting to be in a good marriage or simply wearing short and tight clothes.
But today when I woke up I couldn\’t get out of bed before reading all the messages congratulating me on Women\’s Day. I confess that a tear slipped from my eyes. I got more emotional than being congratulated on my birthday I think. I believe it\’s because today I feel really special for being a woman.
I\’m sure that having moved away from my Brazilian references and living in a different culture for two years has been fundamental for that. While I was in Brazil, no matter how much loved ones told me how strong, beautiful, wonderful, warrior, enlightened and many other qualities that women are told today, I could only see my flaws. Living in a society where women are still required to be perfect has a greater impact than we can imagine on our lives.
It took two years of being perfectly imperfect, appropriating my every beautiful flaw to feel happy and yes, strong, warrior, victorious, beautiful, intelligent and loved.
The most curious thing is that even though I didn\’t recognize this in myself before, I always saw it in the women who passed through my life. I\’ve always been the type to encourage a daring venture by a friend, even though I forgot about my daring; it stimulated a girl\’s dream, even though I kept mine so well I could hardly tell what they were after a while.
Once, already married to Prince Charming, we were at the home of one of his relatives to welcome the bride of a cousin into the family when we were talking about profession. I remember well the feeling of contempt, the glares and the half words wanting to say \”that\’s not your problem\”, when the girl said that her dream was to be a fashion designer, but that she gave up because she thought she wouldn\’t dedicate herself properly to fashion. family and I said if it was a dream she shouldn\’t give up. Little did I know that I had already absorbed those looks, the same criticism, the boycott against myself. And they were so ingrained in me that it was impossible to have the same generous look at myself that I had towards other people.
And so, I kept denying everything in me that I thought was inappropriate for that family and that society: a momentary lack of control, a little jealousy from time to time, silly insecurities, mood swings, my rebelliousness, my friendship with people of all tastes and sexes, my sensuality, my spontaneity, my daring, my joy, my healthy madness, my stretch marks, cellulites, hair with its own personality, my unique way of being. I even took hormones all my life so as not to feel the physical and emotional imbalances typical of being female.
But I got here, another world and decided to allow myself to be what I had never been: myself. And didn\’t I discover that was where my strength came from? Of everything I\’ve always denied.
So today, on this 8th of March 2019, I only wish that all women choose to try to discover themselves, and feel the strength, beauty and happiness that is within them. And to men, let them do the same, so they will not wait for perfect and incomplete women who make them feel safe, but imperfectly happy women who chose to be with them because they are great men, equally imperfect.
Today, celebrate yourself, with all your sides Princess, Witch, Stepmother, Fairy Godmother, Sá-Fada, Ogra, Sexynderela and any other little girl you may have repressed, without self-criticism, without concern for other people\’s criticism.
Today wear the best costume of yourself.
Happy Day, Princesses!