What\’s up, babe? Are you feeling alone, fed up with the pandemic and want a strong hug to make you feel safer? A toned lap for you to put the weight of your frustrations on? That white smile to brighten your day? Wash dirty laundry on a manly abdomen?
So download this app here and you\’ll find it! Or that other one too. Oh, there are three or four more that you can try to find the guy who will solve all the needs and problems in your life. Or if you\’re just in the mood for sex too, just tick that option in your profile and you\’re done!
But then, remember to put your best photos huh! You know the one in the bikini, showing off her curves? Also the one from New Year\’s Eve, in a beautiful dress, all worked on make-up, drinking and toasting? Always with a smile on your face, please, no one likes a frowning woman! Also post one with the family, so they won\’t think you\’re stray, independent… free!
So it is! That\’s how I feel about dating apps in general. A product in an increasingly competitive market that has become that of personal or romantic relationships, having to do some motherfucking self-marketing to be part of that niche and be THE chosen one.
It seems that I can\’t say too much so they don\’t get tired of \”reading me\”, nor too little so as not to show me disinterested. One cannot exaggerate in the production of photos so as not to create high expectations, but fat, cellulite, skin marks, wrinkles must be omitted so as not to scare and pass the quality test.
And when you match, get ready to receive the most absurd, indiscreet and pornographic compliments, not to mention the aggressiveness of the nudes.
If you have already shopped online, pay attention to the details or product characteristics items. Size, color, condition, technical information, price. This is exactly how apps describe profiles. Without any difference, our value is determined by this data, together with the photos, in an obvious way. Our self-description seems to matter little.
In a world where women have been objectified for centuries, I really can\’t relate or enjoy meeting people that way. I feel even more like a material to be used at will by men.
But please, this is not a hate text or canceling the apps! I\’ve used it in some moments of my life, although I don\’t really like it.
As I\’ve said here in other texts, I\’m a people person and being alone with myself for a long time, despite loving my own company, is boring, a routine, something I need to break from time to time. And it\’s okay. Each one has their own way, their personality and their goals. We also know the maxim of a virtual and imposing world from which we have limitations to escape.
Just pay attention to what apps can mean to you. Be aware of the types of conversations you are having with that new person. Ask yourself what you want from someone and what you\’re really looking for in the app. Listen to yourself. Your intuition is always there to tell you where and also who to go with.
If you, like me, like to meet new and interesting people, and want the reciprocity of someone real, who wants to see you beyond an object, do more research on the types of applications that exist out there.
Not that you\’ll be able to escape the sociology of female objectification and, in the case of apps, people in general. But you may find one whose presentation or proposal tools are more suited to what you are looking for. That\’s why it\’s important to know who you are and what you want.
I suggest two apps for anyone who feels prepared to meet someone online and is tired of the best known ones on the market.
One that I really liked was OKCupid, which can be used in Brazil, but unfortunately it doesn\’t have a Portuguese version. The app is much more detailed about the personality and goals of its users. This allows people to check their compatibility level with each other.
Although it is still impersonal (everyone is) and takes into account statistics for a possible match, just the fact that it requires people to be more specific and reflect when filling out the profile is already a differential in the selection of its users.
The other is Bumble. Its differential is the fact that women are responsible for initiating the conversation. We have 24 hours for this, otherwise the match is deleted. That is, if you matched someone, but analyzed the profile further and felt that you should give up, you don\’t have to worry about a guy pestering you insistently.
The other person also has the same amount of time to respond after you send the first Hi. It\’s interesting because it minimizes the number of men whose only interest is in accumulating such contacts. The guy has to be committed to at least talking to you!
However, please do not consider these apps as referrals! Whether or not you are on a dating app and which one is best for you is not for me to say. I swear this post is not paid, I wish! LOL
My intention is to alert women, make them reflect, question social and personal concepts in the search for their individuality, freedom and real happiness. It\’s reminding them that regardless of what they want, a relationship or something casual, we are not and cannot allow them to treat us like objects.
Think and rethink what you are looking for, only then take the step towards your goal. And continue to listen to yourself along the way. Allow yourself to change the meaning, the option, the clothes, the hair and above all your personal relationships. You are not obligated to ANYTHING!