Dear Santa, I\’ve been taken…
However, I don\’t believe this is a bad thing. And this letter is actually to file a request to reconsider the criteria used in the judgment for receiving the gifts of life.
You see, for some reasons, as a child, I led myself to believe that I would only be a good person and that people would only like me if I was perfect. Maybe because I paid too much attention to the bad reviews and also to their behavior in the face of something that made them sigh with joy. What a perfect picture, What a perfect dish, What a perfect body, What a perfect face, What a perfect girl, she is so nice! (I rolled my eyes at that last one, sorry I can\’t lie to the Lord).
Well, when I least realized it, I was trying to achieve the kindness of Mother Teresa of Calcutta, the serenity of the Dalai Lama, the resilience of Nelson Mandela, wanting to have the face of Gisele Bündchen and the body of Jennifer Lopez. Seriously, I should look like Frankenstein! Inside and outside.
But worst of all: I didn\’t please everyone, least of all myself. I was without salt, as we say in Brazil, and unhappy, very unhappy.
With the help of some people, who I can even call angels, but without wings, I started to reflect and question whether that was really what God wanted to see me unhappy. The Lord works for him, right!? If God is our Father and definitely doesn\’t want us to be unhappy, which as far as I know no father does, then whoever the elf was who wrote those fucking criteria must have been pretty crazy with \”holy weed\” to have interpreted it all. like black and white! (Sorry again, just expressing some of the anger that led me to believe I should be different than I was.)
So I\’m going to tell the Lord a little bit about my year and ask the Lord to reflect on this very important issue. That\’s right, the world changes and so do people, so the concepts must be rethought, at all times, if the true intention is that we evolve.
Come on.
I told someone I was seeing (but not dating, just to be clear!) that I wasn\’t seeing anyone else, but I actually went on two other dates. In fact I wasn\’t seeing those people and I only went on those dates because I thought the guy I was seeing didn\’t give a fuck about me which turned out to be true months later, for the record. And at the same time I told the other two guys that I wouldn\’t go out with them anymore due to lack of time. Yeah, that was fucked up. But I didn\’t want to hurt them by saying I wouldn\’t see them anymore because I liked someone else. Altruistic in a way, isn\’t it? Okay, let\’s go to the next one.
I ate pot brownie and mixed every possible drink for my birthday. I felt sick when I got home and my roommates, who I love like brothers, rescued me from my deep sleep and half naked in the bathroom in the middle of the night hahahaha. Ah, that was a little funny go! I never used drugs, but it was 3.5, you know, Santa Claus, it\’s not for everyone. And it served to remind me that they are not really for me. Lesson learned.
I broke my wrist in two places after going out dancing Bum bum tam tam in the snow and making fun of Instagram with the crowd. Noel, it was Bum bum tam tam, in a group, under the snow, very exclusive! I\’m an Aquarian, denying it would be against my nature.
I may have skipped a shower once or twice in the winter. Oh yeah, for the Lord who lives there at the North Pole forever and is obese (let\’s be real here, if I\’m being honest!) the cold is nothing. But I guarantee that, even so, I went to sleep clean.
I used a dating app known to be just for sex, for
sex! Nothing much on this one. I didn\’t lie to anyone and treated everyone with affection. I mean, the few good guys I\’ve met on the app hehehe. Because I\’m romantic, right, so I got tired. It was just an experience. Passed, passed.
I lost my temper with Mom when she was visiting me. This one hurts a little. But, Santa Claus, she stayed here for forty-two days, slept with me, ate with me, traveled with me and I only left her for a few hours in all that time. You know, living together is something difficult and sometimes I forget that she is a mother, as well as my inspiring muse, therapist, wife, grandmother, and many other things. She has so many roles, which she plays admirably, that sometimes when she acts like a boring, worried mother, I can\’t stand it. But you have no doubt that I love you the size of the Universe. If you want, I\’ll even send you the print screens of all the times I said that to her this year. Oh
no. I take back what she said, there are many, laziness huh…
I wore a thong bikini again this summer. What? It\’s not my fault that, for whatever reason, the vast majority of American women like to wear a diaper to the beach. Ahhhhh and it doesn\’t even come with the litany of morals, good manners and blah, blah, blah. The Americana here rubs against the men\’s p
projectiles when she dances. And it\’s not the boyfriend\’s, it\’s anyone\’s. Hypocrisy it calls. She lifts her plump, fluffy ass and comes to check out the Clubs here. Here\’s the tip!
I ate sweet, very sweet. It\’s cool, Noel! In a little while I can apply for the position of your assistant because my belly is so high above the waist of my pants. But I\’ve already become aware that sugar is very bad for me. Not just for my appearance. I\’m really crazy about sugar. It was on one of those overdose nights that I cut my bangs, again! I\’m stopping, I swear, I need to!
I sent the imbecile I fell in love with to take it up the ass by publicly exposing a letter and later a photo. No regrets on that one. I\’m sorry. In fact, if I could have one I would regret not having done it sooner. And that\’s it. Take a look at the breakup letter I wrote to the unfortunate person and you\’ll understand. Thanks. You\’re welcome.
Finally, I need to say, with all the honesty that I used here to express myself and with all my heart, that even in the sad moments I managed to smile. Even thinking of myself, I was supportive and empathetic when the other presented me with their pain. Even losing patience in a few moments, I was sooooo patient most of the time, more than I should have sometimes. I was tolerant of what was different, I took many breaths before thinking about judging the other. I gave affection to those who asked me and also to those who didn\’t ask me, but I thought I needed it. Whenever I could, I helped, with a favor or with some candy to brighten someone\’s day. I felt, I felt a lot, even what I didn\’t want to feel, because I knew I needed to learn. I loved, in the most intense form of love. I loved myself, as I could, whenever I could.
Santa Claus, I\’ve been taken, I know, but I\’ve never been so happy!
I hope you can understand that the criteria of goodness and evil must be changed and be very happy you too!
Have a happy Christmas.
With all my love,
A Divorced Cinderella.