At 3 am that night I finished decorating and tidying up my room. I moved apartments two weeks ago and was emotionally drained trying to organize myself and at the same time find the best way to make my room my home sweet home. My little corner to write, read, watch movies and be with myself (which doesn\’t always happen). After waiting so long for the room to be painted, I needed to organize everything, put everything in order, otherwise I wouldn\’t even sleep.
Changes are not easy for me! Whether moving from one place to another, or having to adapt to a new relationship. It took me a while to get used to the new situation.
In this new house we have a new roommate, he is very noisy and sometimes drives me crazy with the mess he makes when he cooks. It reminds me a lot of my grandmother, whose food was the best I\’ve ever tasted in my life, but the dirt left in the kitchen when she finished cooking was worthy of a horror movie for a person like me lol.
To make matters worse, he smokes weed! So, together with the other roommate, he made a kind of tuxedo room in a small room next to my room. I spent 10 days trying to do something to prevent the smoke from entering through the cracks in the door. The stuff is so intense that I tried to get in there once and I felt like I was going down the mountain on a foggy day.
Besides, it seems like it\’s a natural male gift to drop things wherever you go. Dirty cup, plate with food, dirty cloth, on the sink, on the table, on the kitchen counter. Horror movie part 2 for me! I was almost freaking out, wanting to change again!
Living with more people is not easy, living with boys, even worse! I remember that I had Panic Disorder a few months after getting engaged thinking about how that relationship would work. And even after getting married, it took me a year trying to adapt and at the same time indoctrinate Prince Charming to household chores. Sometimes I think I just don\’t have OCD because that would limit my social life and I\’m definitely what we call a people person lol.
Yes, I\’ve come to the conclusion that I\’m really boring with cleanliness and mess. And no, I really don\’t like it when people mess with my stuff without asking. I\’m the type that takes very good care of every dollar Tupperware. My mom can talk about it, poor thing lol. After I got divorced I had to move back in with her and she drove me crazy when I asked about a pot I couldn\’t find and she said I don\’t know, everything in this house disappears.
And the boys are also well aware of my craze, boredom or whatever you want to call it, oh how they know! One of them says sarcastically you\’re very annoying, okay mom, I\’ll clean it up. The other says wow! you are really thick, jeez! The newest resident doesn\’t say anything, I think he\’s scared lol. But one thing they don\’t say is that they can\’t see me get home because everyone is already running to see me. If I take too long to arrive, they send me a message asking where I am. If I go wrong, they are there to help me. When they fight with each other, they come to me to complain, make drama and cry lol. I think the boys and I really do form a family.
The other day I thought that when I really live alone I\’m going to miss having them with me. I really want to have a corner of my own, I\’ve always lived with someone else. But in fact, in the only two weeks that I lived alone, I felt a damn void.
It\’s curious how we are afraid to adapt to living with other people, but when they, or you, are gone, all the fights, the annoyances, the bad habits become nothing compared to the lack that the laughter, the hug, the sincere dedication mean. .
I\’m not saying that one should remain in an extremely stressful situation, but fleeing to the castle in search of a comforting, comfortable and apparently perfect situation is not the way. I wish I had known how to enjoy living with my brothers, cousins and aunts more while we were always together. I wish I had fought less and hugged more. Troubled me less and helped more. But it\’s all right, time wisely doesn\’t come back. What can I do now and continue giving all the affection and scolding that this Branca de Neve Louca dos Potes can give and thus learn to accept more the limitations of my dwarfs here and mine too. And if things get tough, I\’ll always have my corner, my forest, to find my peace. And the rest settles down, while we try not to control so much, using a charm that I really got to know here, living abroad, living with them: faith! And let\’s use faith to deal with the changes…